I Hate My Scale Taylor!!!!

I hate my scale Taylor!! I love honesty this B.... is to much. Last week I lost 5 pounds, and this week I gained 5 pounds. I cannot win!!! but I will never give up!!! I just cant seem to get past this 20 pound lose. I switch food up , I have even over indulged to try and reset, and nothing! I’m at the point were I just want to eat whatever I want because it isn’t making any impact. The only reason I wont give up is because honestly my old lady acid reflux has disappeared because of my good eating habits. Also, I have not gained weight, and I know if I let go, I will be in real trouble. If I look at junk food the wrong way on a daily basis I will gain 10 pounds without blinking.

Yesterday at the pool I got shoe string fries, and acted like I made a healthy choice by not getting cheese on my fries. All the ketchup that I put on surely made up for that. Not to mention Christian's left over chicken finger that I enjoyed. It was a downward spiral after that because last night I was going to make brownies for the boys and I planned on eating like 4 of them. Luckily for me there were no eggs to make the brownies and I was to tired to go to the store. Laziness finally paid off for me once!

One thing that did motivate me was seeing my license picture from 4 yrs ago and comparing it to the new one. Although the stupid scale wont cooperate with me , I can visually see a difference. I will hold onto that for now and keep moving forward <3

Its my Summer and I can eat and drink if I want to~No, no I cant!!!

All this fun with friends and family this summer has really been great but I was eating and drinking whatever I wanted to, just like those skinny girls that I used to be, and I am surely not anymore. My metabolism is shot now! Although still walking , it just wasn't enough. The stupid scale did not move one ounce and I was getting frustrated. So I did something extreme and tried the sacred heart diet last week. I ate fruit all day one day, veggies all day the next, then steak another day.It went on for 7 days. It is not something you can do everyday of life but it helped me drop 5 pounds. Now Im hoping to keep it going with eating 6 small meals again at least on weekdays. For today Im having a corona light and a brownie sundae for desert tonight, tomorrow back in action! Hey Im not perfect ;-)

As I was walking the dogs this morning, I saw a woman with a cane. She was very overweight and walking very slowly in front of me. I did not want Kernel to jump on her so I came up quickly by her side and passed her. She looked over at me and said thank you! Her face wa young, this was not an older person at all. I usally only learn these lessons at wawa ( if you know me you undertand) I do not want to be that woman so I will keep on moving forward. Wish me luck, I will need it :-)

Im back!!!!

Its been a long time since I have written about this on going battle! I am at an even 20 pound weight loss and have kept it off for almost a year . It was an extremely rough winter and I put on 5 pounds during that time because of snow. What you cant blame snow for making you fat? You cant go out, you have to eat a lot of junk right???and no exercise because no one walks in the snow! Don't join a gym or buy a treadmill !?!? It took me a few months but I finally lost those extra 5 pound. Again if you know me, you know that still is not good enough. I need to lose more to be at my ideal weight. I am a hater to those people that can eat whatever they want and not gain a single ounce, that's no secret. I feel like if I even have one night of fun, that fun stays with me (on my stomach, hips, thighs)for a week. In the long run that fun is not worth that feeling. With my old age of 40 lol and the insanity of my daily schedule with my 3 boys, 2 dogs, and a full time job there's not a whole lot of time to plan my food, and make time for exercise. I always try my best but sometimes planning is just in the cards. Although delicious, fine dining at the snack bar every night having cheese fries was not my best option. I figured the walking would balance that out. It has to be good food and exercise t make it work. As the baseball season comes to a close, and roller hockey and swim team approach, packing my food Is the best way to go. Planning ahead  always is the key for me.

I think this time what really got me was I was talking to someone the other night and she said to me , oh no the hot weather is coming, I guess WE cant cover up with our jackets anymore. I'm not sure I want to be in that category! No I know I don't want to be in that category! So I'm going to keep moving forward and I'm back!!!!!

 "Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that"~Rocky Balboa

I added another 1 pound gain to the other 2 pounds I gained from the week before. I am now back to a 17 pound loss instead of  a 20 pound loss. Let the roller coaster ride begin again, I hate rides!!  I guess that's not to bad considering I have been with the family for the last few weeks. However, I am really disappointed in myself and angry that my body just cannot accept sugar or flour in it. It always seems so unfair. With my Aunt Marion's passing the best way me and my family know how to deal with grief is to eat. "Mangia" and that's what we did. Stuffed shells, pizza, hoagies, cannoli, pine nut cookies, pineapple stuffing, donuts, and so much more that I wouldn't even have room to write all of the food that was in front of my face. I controlled myself for the most part, but ate foods that I wouldn't normally eat anymore. Not to mention my alcohol consumption, which is very rare anymore too. I walked every single day on an average of 4 miles, and that still didn't stop the weight from creeping on. It took me months to loose that 3 pounds and within a few short weeks it was back. I have been very busy and had no time to prepare my food, which is always a disaster for me.

Last Sunday I decided that enough was enough and I was getting back on track on Monday. I ate a very large piece of my sons birthday cake and a humongous serving of cheese fries with lots of ketchup. Yes I felt sick but that did not stop me from eating ice cream too. Again this week has been busy and no time for planning.I have lost some of my motivation to continue on with this "battle" as I always call it, but tried.  I stayed away from the most bad carbs, but did have a black cherry gelati from POP's water ice that was amazing! It all tasted good but was not worth it. Why do I do this to myself????

                                               I think I lost this round but the fight is not over!!!

I gained 2 pounds GRRRR

So the last week I have not been able to plan my food as I normally do, and I gained 2 pounds. It doesn't seem fair that one week of still eating healthy but not measuring food can cause this ughhh. My usual Friday weigh in today, and the first time in months that I have gained weight . It makes me angryyyyyy!

Yesterday was the day that I ate the most. I had 2 egg whites and kale for breakfast, then for 10am snack , had an apple and (2) string cheeses). For lunch I had collard greens , ground turkey and rice. Then for my afternoon snack I had the meat from the cheese steak ( no bread) salad , a small sugar free water ice, and one delicious chocolate chip cookie. for dinner I had a few pieces of American cheese with salami because I was in a rush. Then I went for a 2.22 mile walk and came back really hungry. I had an apple with 2 tablespoons of chunky peanut butter. 

I must say the cookie made me a little crazy ! I couldn't help but eat one because I smelled them all the way from my office. I really wanted to eat the entire box. When everyone left the office to see all the candy in another department, I almost grabbed a couple cookies to eat in the corner of my office. My stubbornness won over.  I decided that I LOVE fitting into my clothes comfortably, and one cookie was enough. I popped a piece of vanilla raspberry dessert gum in my mouth and went on with my business.

It just gets me so mad that I cant eat what I want, when I want. I guess Ill never stop grieving the loss of my metabolism!

What a difference a year makes

So today is the day last year (July 16 2012) the first day of my "diet" and I thought that I was going to starve to death by eating healthy. I thought if I exercised I would injure myself ( If you know me, I m very clumsy, and don't need exercise to do that). Well today (July 16th 2013) I am still alive, 20.6 pounds lighter, and 4 clothes sizes less. Wow that didn't hurt me at all, what a surprise! 

So why am I still at battle with food everyday??? I have to say some days are better than others but the fight with food will never be over, because its a part of my culture, and a part of  life. We all have to eat to live!  What I've learned is to make better food choices. You don't need cookies to survive lol

A few weeks ago I did not bring my food with me to a very long meeting in another county. That is not good for a " Hangry" (  hungry & angry) person. So I arrive at 8am with only 2 egg whites and a 1/2 cup of strawberries in my system. Around 1pm my boss went to the store and got me peanuts because that was the only good choice that was available . We were all hungry but were not able to go to lunch. So the meeting ended at 3pm which is never good on a Friday  because that means TRAFFIC!  After I was stuck in the car for the first hour ( and it was raining) I started to look for food in the car. The kids always leave snack bags in the car. I found old French fries, a bag of half eaten chips, and a few teddy grahams on the floor. These were not good choices to pick from but if this was a year ago, it would have been a buffet :-). So I decide that I don't know what my lil men have done to this food, and I should not eat it. Another hour goes by and I contemplate eating the one lonely skittle that was on the floor, it was red , my favorite, and I though oh maybe I can wipe it off. It was not a good situation. I passed on the skittle too but was about to break down, then the traffic started moving. 2 &1/2 hours in total and I was finally home. I had a cheesesteak waiting for me. I usually only eat the meat but not on that day. I ate the entire sandwich  . I was so happy eating it, but when I was done I was so sick. I had heart burn and couldn't sleep that night. That is why I always have to be prepared, or I completely lose my mind. Food is like a drug to me as I had said many times. So always be prepared and remember no one is perfect. we all mess up , but the great thing is that every day is a new day to start right back over again.  I never said it was , or is easy to do, but it sure is worth it! You will see results if you just try.


Success is not a race, be patient.
Success leads to success.
Success is always a work in progress.
Success doesn't come to you--you go to it.Success is a journey, not a destination. Focus on the process.
Some people dream about success... while others wake up and work hard at it.
Success is achieved and maintained by those who try-and keep trying.
Everyday is a good day to SUCCEED!
If at first you don't succeed-try, try again

20.6 pounds ago!

So I haven't made it to July 16th yet but I have reached my 20 pound loss that I set for that date! 20.6 pounds to be exact . Last summer sitting by the pool with one of my best friends Susan, talking about how impossible it was to lose weight. Now not even a year later we have both met goals that we thought were never imaginable.

Exercising has changed my life in so many ways. I always thought that you had to go to a gym to be fit, but that's not true. Its really whatever works for you. Walking has been my greatest fear (because I broke my foot 3 times over the last 30 years) but it has become the best weight loss exercise for me .  Most importantly it produces endorphins ( happy thoughts) and it keeps everyone safe from my "hulk like" anger :-) as well as hazelnut coffee too.

The key to it all is mindset( You have to really want it), and prepare your food in advance! Being prepared is not always easy as I know all to well. With having 3 boys actively involved in everything, 2 dogs , and a full time job, preparation is the only way it works. I am happy and healthier for my boys and I will not stop here. My goal for next year is to lose another 20 pounds. I cannot say it is easy, but it is sure worth it. Now when I look in the mirror I recognize who's looking back at me. Last year that was not the case. So once again without all of our texts, emails, tweets, messages etc... I would be closet eating again , so thank you , thank you , thank you!!!!!! xoxoxoxox