Vaction Week!

I was really frightened at first about vacation. Who fears being off because of food, I guess I'm the only one. I made a lot of really great choices while I was busy with the boys, and it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I packed my food in a cooler and took it with me everyday, and when I did go out to eat I just stuck withlean protein , potato or rice, and lots of vegetables. I did have a small cheat fest on Saturday night with some very delicious chocolate chip cookies. I got right on track the next day. While on vacation I walked a lot on the beach, boardwalk , amusement parks,the zoo, museum's, golf, tennis, and burned a lot of calories. I lost 1.8 pounds this week, and I'm at a total of a 12 pound loss. As some wise people have pointed out to me that the number on the scale is not as important, and they are right. I feel great, and was able to build sand castles with my kids, and jump and run into the ocean with them, and not feel exhausted. I'm the kinda mom that I want to be. As I was jumping waves with my boys I heard a mom saying to her kids that she just couldn't do what I'm doing with her kids because she didn't have the energy. I turned around and smiled at her and said neither did I a few months ago. We started talking, and she was only 32 years old. She had 2 boys 5 and 8, and she was sad that her life came to this point. We had a really great conversation and she seemed motivated to make a change so she could just simply play with her kids. I really have learned we are what we eat. If you put sugar in your car gas tank, your car wont run, same goes with your body. I have always taught my kids to eat well, and they have always made better choices than I have. I really was a hypocrite. Knowing that's not good for you and not giving it to your children, but eating it yourself is not the right way to live. One night when me and the boys went out to dinner I asked them what did they want to drink? They all chose water with their dinner, and said they want to be healthy like me. I'm not saying all other drinks are bad for you, but I only have drank water, and tea since July 15th, and they noticed that. The positives of eating well and exercising have surpassed the "bad" food enticement, at least for this week, that is :-)

I guess I cant!

I gained .8 pounds this week. It really upsets me because I have been exercising and eating right for over a month now. I'm hoping its just muscle weight  but I have to say its very discouraging. It has been an extremely stressful and busy week, and some research says that weight gain is associated with stress. If its not those answers, its that my body hates me and doesn't want to help. Not logical but maybe true.

Many people say that you need a "cheat" day so I did that Sat night. This was the first time that I had really let myself go, and it wasn't pretty. Grazing is not good for me. Its best when I know exactly what I'm going to eat. Saturday night was a pot luck Mexican night at my brother in laws house. Mexican food is one of my favorites, and my brother in law makes the best flauntas. Normally he bakes them, but he deep fat fried them. Of course I still ate it, and it was so good. There were at least 15 different entries, desserts , and appetizers. Everything was so good, so I wanted to try whatever I could. I took a little of this and that, and then I lost count. That's never a good thing for me. Once I lose count, I don't count. I had the best homeade chocolate chili ice cream on a deep fat fried cinnamon tortilla chip. I didn't stop there, when I got home I had a sundae.I was back in the mentality , better make it worth it mode. I put crushed pretzels, oreos, chocolate syrup, and whip cream on it. It was delicious. I got back on track the very next day, but I really think I'm paying for it with this .8 pounds.Mind you that I have not had ANY alchoholic beverage "cheat" at all.  I cant eat like regular people. Every ounce accumulates with even one night of "bad" eating. Now I'm on vacation and I will not have a regular eating schedule. Should be an interesting week, stay tuned!

YES I CAN

 I lost 1.8 pounds with my weigh in this morning. I have had the worst week, and didn't think id make it through without cookies, cake, and fries. Its to painful to explain in detail all of the things that happened to me , but it didn't drive me to eat"bad" food.  I actually turned to eating healthy and exercising to comfort me, and  it didn't pull me further under. I actually felt stronger like I could actually face all of my problems. Usually I get upset and eat to make things better, and then I feel disgusting and fat, and feel worse. Thank you to all of those who keep encouraging me to go on and "just do it". In total for the month I lost 10.8 pounds. Honestly, I haven't seen this weight in a long time. I still have alot to go, but feel like I can do this!

When I was little I remember watching an after school special, yes I'm old. The girl said NACISEY when she wanted to do something and thought that she couldnt, and it magically worked for her, and she could do it. Some people have probably heard me talking to myself and said NACISEY, but I never mention what it means. It means YESICAN!!!!! There's no magic here, but there is hard work, and motivation <3 I hope I can keep this momentum going!

All around bad day

I stayed on my food plan but was just having a bad day. Honestly, I feel like just giving up. I didnt get to walk and all I want to do is eat the cinamon pecan swirls that are sitting in front of me. Im actually to tired to eat so I wont give up tonight. Its been a long emotional draining week and its only tuesday. Im hoping tomorrow is a better day :-(

Busy

I was busy all day until now. Even when I don't have time , I still want to eat junk food. Thankfully I had my food all ready for me or I surely would have eaten something unhealthy. This happens to me sometimes when I finally settle down from an insane day. Its close to a month that I am eating healthier. I cant believe that I'm keeping this up. I'm frightened when the day comes that I give up. I hope it doesn't happen. Each day is a new one!

Confessions

Today was my Aunt Marions 80th birthday party at a buffet. I'm really not good when it comes to food choices, and buffets have way to many.I had vegetable fried rice, pepper steak, string beans , salad, and spinach. I felt full and good but that birthday cake was looking at me. My sister was standing next to me and the cake after everyone got a piece. I asked her to make sure that I didn't get my fork and stand there and eat the rest of it. She cut me a very small piece, it was probably 1/4 of a small sliver of cake. I cut that in half and ate it. It was so delicious and I enjoyed the taste of it way more since I dont eat it everyday. I looked at her and I told her that I was going to eat the other small piece that went along with it. I wanted her to be prepared in case I attacked the cake, but fortunatly I didnt. I  ate it, and I didn't feel that guilt. As my sister Holly explains it, its like Edward Cullen  the vampire from twilight. He wants the blood so bad but knows its wrong, and everyday is a challenge to stay away from it. I walked away and felt content . I made it out of there in pretty good shape, but the trouble started when I got home, I felt hungry. The salt in the food must give me an appetite. I really wanted to make ground chicken meatballs, but someone thought it would be better to put my food in the freezer. So now I was stuck with the same old boring chicken, and I was craving carbohydrates too, that's a bad combo. Someone thinks that I should eat all the chicken first so I don't waste it. Honestly, I rather waste an ounce of chicken then gain a pound out of boredom in eating the wrong thing because I have nothing that interests me. Don't get me wrong I love a routine, it keeps me on track knowing what I'm going to eat, but I need some variety, not much but some. So my schedule was a bit off and I decided that I would eat my boring dinner. Then I was "bad" I had 1 cup of vanilla ice cream, and 1oz of wise plain chips. I stayed within 1200 calories, and I figured since I walked over 3 miles in total today, that I deserved it. It tasted so good, better than before, because I actually savored it. However, now I'm feeling fat and bloated . I don't miss that feeling at all. Its going to be a really busy week for me, and I'm looking forward to getting back into my food routine. Better days to come , I hope :-)

Hard Day

I went to see my uncle that has been in the hospital. I packed my food up until dinner. I made rice krispy treats to bring over to my aunt. While making them I got some on my hands. Normally, I would  immediately peel it off my fingers and eat it, then eat about 5 or 6 squares. I didn't touch any of it. I brought it to my aunts, and my mom and other family ate it. Then we went to the hospital. After going to the hospital, everyone went back to my aunts and was eating lunch meat and rolls. I don't eat lunch meat on average anyway so I was just going to eat when I went home. Then they told me there were meatballs, and gravy (tomato sauce). I love meatballs! I had 2 meatballs , salad and a baked potato. Strangely enough I felt full, but they were so good, I really was trying to rationalize that I could eat more. I didn't do it but really wanted to.  Normally I'm told go ahead and eat more, you only live once. Now I say exactly , you only live once and that's why I wont overeat.

Im losing

I was running late today and didn't have time to make coffee. I was to busy admiring the scale and my additional 1 pound weight lose from last Friday. Really I was running late, so after I dropped all the kids off I stopped at WAWA to get my coffee. After all I learn so much there. I pull into a parking spot and almost hit this woman sitting on the curb. She was eating so intensely that she didn't even notice that I almost accidentally took her out. She may have been insane or on drugs but she still was very involved in eating. She had cheese curls, powdered donuts, a breakfast sandwich, and drinking a pepsi at 7:30am. Hey who am I to judge, I am by no means cured from my  addiction to junk food, but watching this woman made me realize how the food totally took her over. This has happened to me but I must say I'm slightly smarter and wouldn't enjoy my food sitting in the street. I would hide and eat it in my car. However, if I was going to eat something it would be a breakfast sandwich (egg whites and  turkey bacon) with a hash brown, and hazelnut coffee with heavy cream. Oh the good old days. The boys ate pizza and I had a grilled chicken Caesar salad. I really enjoyed it, and had some raspberries while watching a movie. My craving are decreasing but I'm still aware that they can attack me, and overtake my progress at anytime of the day. Your support honestly has kept me motivated, thank you!

Complements

A few people said to me that they noticed I lost weight today. At first I always think that they are saying I was a big cow before, and now I'm a smaller cow. If you lose weight and people notice , you know you were fat. I really did try and take it as a compliment, and my clothes are getting looser, they might be right. I had a really busy day at work , then went to registration for the boys club. After I got home I walked over 2 miles with Paige and lil Bill.  I hope all my efforts are paying off. Tomorrow is judgement day for me. I will let you know how it goes.

Ongoing struggle

I had a really long day with many different issues at work that always makes me want to eat. I stayed away from all the delicious food that I am always offered. After work I ate dinner quickly and went to do soccer registration. I came home around 7:30pm and walked Miss Paige and burned 216 calories. After that I made lunches for the boys for tomorrow, and that's when I got hungry. That dam smuckers peanut butter and jelly. It smelled so good. Honestly, I just wanted to eat the whole jar. I ate cherries instead, surely not as exciting. Now I'm sitting here watching supernatural, and I feel like eating pizza and fries. I'm not gonna do it but I am really tempted to eat something. Ive come to far to mess this up now. Its an ongoing battle.

Im Guilty

Long day at work explaining to some people what their actual job is. It was frustrating and I really wanted to eat the buffet of food that we had on the counter at work. I didn't, and I was to busy to rethink it. After work we went out to Carrabas for Christian's 7th birthday dinner. I got a house salad,  grilled chicken(only ate half)  zucchini, and garlic mashed potato (I ate half).Although I stayed within my 1200 calories and sorta in my plan, I still  feel like I cheated. There was butter in the potatoes, and the grilled chicken probably had something fattening on it because it tasted so good. I think the salt in
the food has left me bloated, and still wanting more. I wrapped up my other half of food and didn't look back. It is always a challenge when I go off my schedule. I really had to set myself straight that I would not eat the entire meal, and that there would be absolutely no dessert. After dinner we walked around the mall and did some birthday shopping. By the time we got home it was to late to take a long walk. So no exercise again. If I would have exercised  I think I would have felt better about going out to eat and the food choices I made. Now I'm going to have acai berry green tea, then its time for bed. Lets hope this 2nd time out to eat this week doesn't ruin my Friday weigh in, and ruin my motivation.

Busy Day

I was so busy today I almost forgot to eat. That is never a good thing. The problem with not eating is that I will be starving. I feel like if I dont eat I will wither away, which we all know is not true. When I realized I should eat, I wasnt hungry. I still ate anyway in fear that if I didnt I would be hungrier than I wanted to be. After work, I came home and ate dinner. I went to the field do sign ups for the boys club for soccer . I talked to one of the most insipartional people that I know.  This amazing woman has lost 150 pounds with clean eating. She kept it off for the last 2 years. Her willpower has shown me that it really isnt impossible to have a healthy lifetstyle. She always has the best Ideas about really good tasting healthy foods, After registration I was going to walk the dog, but I realized I was out of most of my food. I am one of the laziest people, and normally I would say, oh well guess Im done eating healthy because I have no food to do it. Not this time. I actually went to the store. I must really be motivated. Im a little disappointed that I didnt exercise, but theres always tomorrow :-)

myfitnesspal.com to see my menu. My email is cerebral69@comcast.net

Im a cheater!!

My son Christian's 7th bday party was today. I had one slice of pizza and a slice of ice cream cake. 519 calories later, with that little bit of food, and it didnt really make me happy.I walked and burned off 293 calories. I felt better that I atleast walked. I am happy to get back into my food routine again tomorrow. Now the problem is I have over 600 calories left and I feel like I should eat something very bad to go along with my cheating. I hope I dont lose control.  Im really leaning toward eating the entire jar of smuckers peanut butter and jelly. Im hoping I pull myself together and just have fruit. Cheating is so complicated lol

Some people suck!

Although I have gotten alot of support, thank you to the fantastic people in my life:-) There really are some haters out there in this world. Talking to some people just sucks the life out of you. I know that the way I eat now does not seem "normal" to most but it is "normal" to me. I really enjoy knowing what I'm going to eat. I love a routine, it makes it easier with my insane schedule. I lost one more pound today because I couldn't keep myself away from the scale. 9.4 pounds lost in 20 days. This has not come easy as you have read from my prior posts. I actually ate healthy and exercised. Some feel this is an unhealthy way to eat and the weight loss is to fast. I am obese and had weight that needed to come off ASAP. They will say to me, once you are eating a "regular" diet again, you will do better. I am getting all the nutrition I need, and I'm losing weight at the same time, this is better. If one thing works for one person it doesnt mean it will work for another. Why does it bother people that I eat 6 times a day, and I really do want to stay away from"bad" foods. Honestly some foods make me sick after eating them. If someone told you to eat something that makes you ill, why would anyone encourage someone to eat that again? Some feel this is a fad "diet". I feel like this is clean living and manageable for me. Due to my thyroid disorder my metabolism is extremely slow. This way of eating has boosted that for me. My menus may sound boring and routinized to some, but to me they are perfect for my lifestyle. They make me feel great, and at the end of the day, I am happy. I'm just not sure why people question me now for being unhealthy , when less then a month ago I was never questioned for being FAT and LAZY!

myfitnesspal.com

Its not fair!!!! I feel cheated :-(

In total I have lost 8.4 pounds . I started logging into my fitness pal and I was two pounds lighter already. So from 19 days ago I have officially lost 6.4 pounds. Sadly my weigh in this morning was devastating to me. I waited all week to find out that I only lost a half of a pound. I feel cheated. I gave up all my favorite things, pizza, fries, cakes, cookies, and even diet soda, and I only lost  .8 ounces.  I even exercised, seriously that was a slap in the face. At that moment on the scale, it just didn't seem worth it. Wow that really made me mad. Other people eat and drink alot worse than I do and once they start eating and drinking better, the weigh magically drops off. Not me, I don't even like regular soda, and haven't drank it since I was very young. I don't like fast food, especially McDonald's. I must have been the only kid that would cry when I was told we were going there. Their food always made me sick. On average I make healthy choices most of the time, so I always question it, and say why me? I never get a straight answer ugh. I am still determined to lose this weight even if its only a 1/2 pound a week. However, if next week I don't lose any weight, I might give up. I'm hoping that doesn't happen.

At work today one of my coworkers brought me in chocolate covered pomegranates. She has been telling me about them for weeks. She actually dumped about 10 of them on my desk. I looked at them like she gave me heavy drugs. She said taste one, I said no , but she insisted . I told her that I haven't touched this kinda stuff in 18 days.The slogan is Say No to Drugs right? Well junk food is my drug, but I didn't say no.  She really wanted me to just taste one, so I did. To me the only taste was horrible guilt, like I hurt someone , and that someone was me. I focused and realized I ate the candy. Luckily I don't really like chocolate that much. However, even though I was upset about not losing more weight, I didn't punish myself, and  I didn't eat the rest of them, as I normally would have. I wrapped them up and put them away. I didn't totally lose my mind. I was really surprised with my self control. Someone else I work with is always very helpful. Talking over what just happened, and discussing other options about weight lose brought my focus back. This is the part of the lifestyle change when I usually throw in the towel, but not this time. After all I have been told that I'm 5ft of sunshine, and I have to live up to that positive motivational description, don't I? Never look back, keep moving forward.

“Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things… and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”–Walt Disney

To see what I ate log into myfitnesspal.com and ask to be my friend. my user name is cerebral69.

Mourning The Loss Of Junk Food

I almost feel like someone has died. I miss my nighttime snacking with unhealthy foods.Stuffing my face with popcorn and raisinets. I know I can never go back to that routine again. Its a very scary realization that I can go back to that if I cant control my thoughts. Its kind of depressing, to know that I will never have that comfort of junk food on an everyday basis, ever again.




I ate my dinner with the family. They had Texas Tommy's and one of my favorite foods, tater tots. They looked crispy and Delicious, and they were right in front of me. I cannot believe I didn't devour all of the tater tots and the plate that they were on. . I resisted and am really glad I did. They are a trigger food for me. I cant wait to get on the scale tomorrow morning. Not getting on has to be one of the hardest things about this lifestyle change.I'm committed to a Friday weigh in. The numbers better be lower or I'm gonna be really mad. I am putting all this effort in. I hope my body doesn't let me down.

Breakfast	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein
Naturegg - Egg White Omelet, 2 large egg white	30	0	0	7
Cherries - Sweet, raw, 0.5 cup, with pits, yields	37	9	0	1
Add Food Quick Tools Quick add calories Remember meal Copy yesterday Copy from date Copy to date Copy from which date? Wednesday, August 1 Tuesday, July 31 Monday, July 30 Sunday, July 29 Saturday, July 28 Friday, July 27 Thursday, July 26 Copy to which date? Sunday, August 5 Saturday, August 4 Tomorrow Today Yesterday Tuesday, July 31 Monday, July 30	67	9	0	8
Lunch
Chicken Breast - Grilled/Baked, 2 oz.	70	0	2	13
Rice - White, long-grain, regular, cooked, 0.5 cup	103	22	0	2
Homemade - Italian Tomato Sauce, 0.5 cup	40	6	1	2
Add Food Quick Tools Quick add calories Remember meal Copy yesterday Copy from date Copy to date Copy from which date? Wednesday, August 1 Tuesday, July 31 Monday, July 30 Sunday, July 29 Saturday, July 28 Friday, July 27 Thursday, July 26 Copy to which date? Sunday, August 5 Saturday, August 4 Tomorrow Today Yesterday Tuesday, July 31 Monday, July 30	213	28	3	17
Dinner
Rice - White, long-grain, regular, cooked, 0.5 cup	103	22	0	2
Homemade - Italian Tomato Sauce, 0.5 cup	40	6	1	2
Starkist - Solid White Albacore Tuna, 2 oz.	70	0	2	13
Add Food Quick Tools Quick add calories Remember meal Copy yesterday Copy from date Copy to date Copy from which date? Wednesday, August 1 Tuesday, July 31 Monday, July 30 Sunday, July 29 Saturday, July 28 Friday, July 27 Thursday, July 26 Copy to which date? Sunday, August 5 Saturday, August 4 Tomorrow Today Yesterday Tuesday, July 31 Monday, July 30	213	28	3	17
Snacks
Chicken Breast - Grilled/Baked, 2 oz.	70	0	2	13
Chicken Breast - Grilled/Baked, 2 oz.	70	0	2	13
Cherries - Sweet, raw, 0.5 cup, with pits, yields	37	9	0	1
Potato - Small (1/2 Large) - Baked Potato, 150 g 90 g	110	23	0	3
Peach - Small, 1 small	31	8	0	1
Add Food Quick Tools Quick add calories Remember meal Copy yesterday Copy from date Copy to date Copy from which date? Wednesday, August 1 Tuesday, July 31 Monday, July 30 Sunday, July 29 Saturday, July 28 Friday, July 27 Thursday, July 26 Copy to which date? Sunday, August 5 Saturday, August 4 Tomorrow Today Yesterday Tuesday, July 31 Monday, July 30	318	40	4	31
Totals	811	105	10	73
Your Daily Goal	1,200	165	40	45
Remaining	389	60	30	-28
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein

I dont like surprises!!!!

I was fine until I got home. I was really planning on eating the rest of my rice noodles with homeade gravy,  lean ground meat with lots of garlic chunks in it. I came home to find it was gone. Someone who will remain nameless ate my dam food as their lunch! Things started to get out of hand because now I was hungry and had to cook. Two things I hate! Some people like surprises I never do. I didnt get to go for my long walk, so no calories burned today. Im a little bummed from alot of bad things that happened to me this week, and I really want alot of ice cream. Im hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Breakfast	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein
Naturegg - Egg White Omelet, 2 large egg white	30	0	0	7
Peach - Small, 1 small	31	8	0	1
Add Food Quick Tools Quick add calories Remember meal Copy yesterday Copy from date Copy to date Copy from which date? Tuesday, July 31 Monday, July 30 Sunday, July 29 Saturday, July 28 Friday, July 27 Thursday, July 26 Wednesday, July 25 Copy to which date? Saturday, August 4 Friday, August 3 Tomorrow Today Yesterday Monday, July 30 Sunday, July 29	61	8	0	8
Lunch
Rice noodles - Cooked, 0.5 cup	96	22	0	1
Jennie O - Ground Turkey, Lean 93/7 , 2 ounces	85	0	4	10
Homemade - Italian Tomato Sauce, 0.5 cup	40	6	1	2
Fresh - Romaine Lettuce , 6 leaves (85g)	10	2	0	0
Add Food Quick Tools Quick add calories Remember meal Copy yesterday Copy from date Copy to date Copy from which date? Tuesday, July 31 Monday, July 30 Sunday, July 29 Saturday, July 28 Friday, July 27 Thursday, July 26 Wednesday, July 25 Copy to which date? Saturday, August 4 Friday, August 3 Tomorrow Today Yesterday Monday, July 30 Sunday, July 29	231	30	5	13
Dinner
Rice - White, long-grain, regular, cooked, 0.5 cup	103	22	0	2
Chicken Breast - Grilled/Baked, 2 oz.	70	0	2	13
Lettuce - Red leaf, raw, 1 leaf outer	3	0	0	0
Add Food Quick Tools Quick add calories Remember meal Copy yesterday Copy from date Copy to date Copy from which date? Tuesday, July 31 Monday, July 30 Sunday, July 29 Saturday, July 28 Friday, July 27 Thursday, July 26 Wednesday, July 25 Copy to which date? Saturday, August 4 Friday, August 3 Tomorrow Today Yesterday Monday, July 30 Sunday, July 29	176	22	2	15
Snacks
Peach - Small, 1 small	31	8	0	1
Jennie O - Ground Turkey, Lean 93/7 , 2 ounces	85	0	4	10
Potato - Small (1/2 Large) - Baked Potato, 150 g 90 g	110	23	0	3
Jennie O - Ground Turkey, Lean 93/7 , 2 ounces	85	0	4	10
Cherries - Sweet, raw, 0.5 cup, with pits, yields	37	9	0	1
Add Food Quick Tools Quick add calories Remember meal Copy yesterday Copy from date Copy to date Copy from which date? Tuesday, July 31 Monday, July 30 Sunday, July 29 Saturday, July 28 Friday, July 27 Thursday, July 26 Wednesday, July 25 Copy to which date? Saturday, August 4 Friday, August 3 Tomorrow Today Yesterday Monday, July 30 Sunday, July 29	348	40	8	25
Totals	816	100	15	61
Your Daily Goal	1,200	165	40	45
Remaining	384	65	25	-16
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein