I added another 1 pound gain to the other 2 pounds I gained from the week before. I am now back to a 17 pound loss instead of  a 20 pound loss. Let the roller coaster ride begin again, I hate rides!!  I guess that's not to bad considering I have been with the family for the last few weeks. However, I am really disappointed in myself and angry that my body just cannot accept sugar or flour in it. It always seems so unfair. With my Aunt Marion's passing the best way me and my family know how to deal with grief is to eat. "Mangia" and that's what we did. Stuffed shells, pizza, hoagies, cannoli, pine nut cookies, pineapple stuffing, donuts, and so much more that I wouldn't even have room to write all of the food that was in front of my face. I controlled myself for the most part, but ate foods that I wouldn't normally eat anymore. Not to mention my alcohol consumption, which is very rare anymore too. I walked every single day on an average of 4 miles, and that still didn't stop the weight from creeping on. It took me months to loose that 3 pounds and within a few short weeks it was back. I have been very busy and had no time to prepare my food, which is always a disaster for me.

Last Sunday I decided that enough was enough and I was getting back on track on Monday. I ate a very large piece of my sons birthday cake and a humongous serving of cheese fries with lots of ketchup. Yes I felt sick but that did not stop me from eating ice cream too. Again this week has been busy and no time for planning.I have lost some of my motivation to continue on with this "battle" as I always call it, but tried.  I stayed away from the most bad carbs, but did have a black cherry gelati from POP's water ice that was amazing! It all tasted good but was not worth it. Why do I do this to myself????

                                               I think I lost this round but the fight is not over!!!

I gained 2 pounds GRRRR

So the last week I have not been able to plan my food as I normally do, and I gained 2 pounds. It doesn't seem fair that one week of still eating healthy but not measuring food can cause this ughhh. My usual Friday weigh in today, and the first time in months that I have gained weight . It makes me angryyyyyy!

Yesterday was the day that I ate the most. I had 2 egg whites and kale for breakfast, then for 10am snack , had an apple and (2) string cheeses). For lunch I had collard greens , ground turkey and rice. Then for my afternoon snack I had the meat from the cheese steak ( no bread) salad , a small sugar free water ice, and one delicious chocolate chip cookie. for dinner I had a few pieces of American cheese with salami because I was in a rush. Then I went for a 2.22 mile walk and came back really hungry. I had an apple with 2 tablespoons of chunky peanut butter. 

I must say the cookie made me a little crazy ! I couldn't help but eat one because I smelled them all the way from my office. I really wanted to eat the entire box. When everyone left the office to see all the candy in another department, I almost grabbed a couple cookies to eat in the corner of my office. My stubbornness won over.  I decided that I LOVE fitting into my clothes comfortably, and one cookie was enough. I popped a piece of vanilla raspberry dessert gum in my mouth and went on with my business.

It just gets me so mad that I cant eat what I want, when I want. I guess Ill never stop grieving the loss of my metabolism!

What a difference a year makes

So today is the day last year (July 16 2012) the first day of my "diet" and I thought that I was going to starve to death by eating healthy. I thought if I exercised I would injure myself ( If you know me, I m very clumsy, and don't need exercise to do that). Well today (July 16th 2013) I am still alive, 20.6 pounds lighter, and 4 clothes sizes less. Wow that didn't hurt me at all, what a surprise! 

So why am I still at battle with food everyday??? I have to say some days are better than others but the fight with food will never be over, because its a part of my culture, and a part of  life. We all have to eat to live!  What I've learned is to make better food choices. You don't need cookies to survive lol

A few weeks ago I did not bring my food with me to a very long meeting in another county. That is not good for a " Hangry" (  hungry & angry) person. So I arrive at 8am with only 2 egg whites and a 1/2 cup of strawberries in my system. Around 1pm my boss went to the store and got me peanuts because that was the only good choice that was available . We were all hungry but were not able to go to lunch. So the meeting ended at 3pm which is never good on a Friday  because that means TRAFFIC!  After I was stuck in the car for the first hour ( and it was raining) I started to look for food in the car. The kids always leave snack bags in the car. I found old French fries, a bag of half eaten chips, and a few teddy grahams on the floor. These were not good choices to pick from but if this was a year ago, it would have been a buffet :-). So I decide that I don't know what my lil men have done to this food, and I should not eat it. Another hour goes by and I contemplate eating the one lonely skittle that was on the floor, it was red , my favorite, and I though oh maybe I can wipe it off. It was not a good situation. I passed on the skittle too but was about to break down, then the traffic started moving. 2 &1/2 hours in total and I was finally home. I had a cheesesteak waiting for me. I usually only eat the meat but not on that day. I ate the entire sandwich  . I was so happy eating it, but when I was done I was so sick. I had heart burn and couldn't sleep that night. That is why I always have to be prepared, or I completely lose my mind. Food is like a drug to me as I had said many times. So always be prepared and remember no one is perfect. we all mess up , but the great thing is that every day is a new day to start right back over again.  I never said it was , or is easy to do, but it sure is worth it! You will see results if you just try.


Success is not a race, be patient.
Success leads to success.
Success is always a work in progress.
Success doesn't come to you--you go to it.Success is a journey, not a destination. Focus on the process.
Some people dream about success... while others wake up and work hard at it.
Success is achieved and maintained by those who try-and keep trying.
Everyday is a good day to SUCCEED!
If at first you don't succeed-try, try again

20.6 pounds ago!

So I haven't made it to July 16th yet but I have reached my 20 pound loss that I set for that date! 20.6 pounds to be exact . Last summer sitting by the pool with one of my best friends Susan, talking about how impossible it was to lose weight. Now not even a year later we have both met goals that we thought were never imaginable.

Exercising has changed my life in so many ways. I always thought that you had to go to a gym to be fit, but that's not true. Its really whatever works for you. Walking has been my greatest fear (because I broke my foot 3 times over the last 30 years) but it has become the best weight loss exercise for me .  Most importantly it produces endorphins ( happy thoughts) and it keeps everyone safe from my "hulk like" anger :-) as well as hazelnut coffee too.

The key to it all is mindset( You have to really want it), and prepare your food in advance! Being prepared is not always easy as I know all to well. With having 3 boys actively involved in everything, 2 dogs , and a full time job, preparation is the only way it works. I am happy and healthier for my boys and I will not stop here. My goal for next year is to lose another 20 pounds. I cannot say it is easy, but it is sure worth it. Now when I look in the mirror I recognize who's looking back at me. Last year that was not the case. So once again without all of our texts, emails, tweets, messages etc... I would be closet eating again , so thank you , thank you , thank you!!!!!! xoxoxoxox

19.6 pounds

10 months later and I'm officially down 19.6 pounds. I am really hoping to make it to a 20 pound loss by July 16th. That will be my one year anniversary that I decided enough is enough! Looking back I cant believe I made it this far. Those lifestyle changes, although seeming dramatic at the time, have become my normal now. Change is always difficult but in this case, it was well worth it!  It is amazing what a positive mindset, willpower,  and a great support system from friends and family changed my life. You have all followed me and encouraged me. I will always be thankful to everyone for helping me get to a healthier and more peaceful place.

It has been a long cold winter. Even the spring feels like winter. Its much harder for me to exercise when its raining and cold, but I try to do it whenever possible. I've found that any exercise at all makes a huge difference. I haven't been eating as well or planning my food as I did in the beginning, mainly due to my crazy schedule. Working full time, and three boys in baseball keeps me very busy. However, I am more conscious of the choices I make. If I eat fries, I don't immediately talk myself into having a burger and ice cream because I already messed up. I just eat the fries. I still try and pick one day a week to splurge but its not as important to me anymore. I am just happy fitting in my pants that are 4 sizes smaller than last year. That is worth more to me than any cookie!

I have had fight, after fight with Taylor, an her inconsistent ways. I don't like her! Yes, Taylor is the name on my scale. I believe that she is taunting me. The weight goes up, then down. I don't like Taylor because she makes feel bad about myself , and  angry!! I decided I'm going to beat her at this game ,because if you know me, wining is everything. Once I set my mind to beating this, it will have to happen. I have to see that number on the scale that shows me that 20 pounds is gone! Then off to my next level ! Wish me luck xoxo. 

I had a fight with the scale, im not sure, but I think I won!

So I get on the scale this morning because its Friday. I only get on the scale on Fridays, that's what I keep telling myself. Anyway, I get on the scale and I'm 10 pounds lighter. I yell at the scale and tell it to stop playing games with my head. Mind you I'm talking to a scale alone in the bathroom. I may have bigger issues than overeating :-). So I get back on again, and now I'm 7 pounds heavier. At this point I'm calling the scale a liar, and I know I didn't gain 7 pounds. So I get on several more times until I had the same weight three times in a row. Now I was happy, I lost 3.8 pounds and that seemed to be accurate. I cannot believe the head games that this scale plays with me! We have an ongoing love, hate relationship.

I really worked hard this week with my nutrition. I cut out all sugar and flour, and ate 6 small meals. I cant lie , I was really hungry at night and wanted cake. Several people offered me very enticing food, and I turned it down, and they looked and me and are still amazed that I wouldn't take it. If you catch me on a bad day, I might take it, and yours, so watch out! I resisted and honestly feel better for it. The biggest problem is maintaining my food lifestyle. Being prepared is surely the number one key for me, and motivation to exercise. Exercising has again become obsolete this week. There really isn't enough time in my day. Honestly if there was Id have more to do. With my regular activity daily,  I'm only averaging 8,000 or so steps a day. My goal is 10,000 a day. I'm hoping for better weather to get me more motivated, and going for long walks with the pups again.

Thank you to everyone that relates to my blog and sends me messages and comments. It really does keep me on track !

Its been a brutal winter!

I was fine until the week before Christmas. I lost 18 pounds in total from July and was really pleased with myself. Many people encouraged me to live it up because it was Christmas and I had worked so hard, that I should take a break. I wasn't completely sold on the idea of just letting go because I know my pattern. I then will convince myself its "OKAY" to indulge when its really not. So I ate whatever and drank whatever and gained weight quick. My body is not meant to let go. Christmas came and went and then it was new years, and I was still eating. I tried to get back on track but it was so rainy and cold. I didn't want to exercise and I was slowly slipping into my old ways. I went to party after party and showed some restraint but the pounds kept fluctuating.I would lose a pound then gain 3. In total since before Christmas I have gained 5 pounds. So now I'm only at a 13 pound loss, which is devastating to a short person. 5 pounds is like putting on 30. Strangely enough people come to me for nutrition advice and now I feel like a hippocrate. I really motivated the least likely people and they are wearing pedometers and tracking food, and eating better because of me, and now I cannot stay motivated. If you know me , you know that everything I do is scheduled and organized. If its not I cannot function because I don't have enough time in my day.  I work full time, have 3 kids, and 2 dogs. I need to regain the focus. That's not easy when all I do is focus on everything else and not myself. As I'm tying this, I'm being talked to and asked why I'm still on the computer, and when I'm going to be done.  If anyone has a motivational speech, I would love it :-) Especially now that Easter is coming, and there will be another food battle to face.

I took the kids out to lunch yesterday, and I looked around . I would say at least 80% of the people were overweight. One woman asked the waiter to move her because she couldn't fit in the booth. There were these two woman having lunch and the smaller woman finished her food. The overweight woman only ate half and had hers wrapped. I thought to myself , she will eat that in her car on the way home. That's why I have to put myself out there, and not be like that. Yes I am the girl that would eat that in the car because I'm still hungry. When I eat well, no flour, no sugar I feel well. When I eat the "junk" I feel like "junk". I'm hoping to really get started eating well  and exercising more again. I want to be  a good example of how you can turn things around, even after numerous failures. I do appreciate everyones help. It is encouraging to know that others go through the same fight I do.

Im going down!

I'm back to obsessing over the scale.   The other night the entire bathroom was flooded. Without a concern for anything else, I saved the scale first. I was so worried that it wouldn't work , I grabbed it and wrapped it in a towel.  Thankfully the scale was left unharmed!

The holidays sure did throw me off. I put on a total of 5 pounds in a few weeks time frame, and its been almost a month and I'm having a hard time taking this weight back off. Ive only lost 1.9 pounds of it, and my clothes are feeling tighter. I invested in a great pedometer and it works well. However, I am only on average at 6,000 steps per day.I want to reach 10,000 steps per day. I really thought with my everyday movement, without structured exercise, it would be more. For me the key is exercise along with eating well. Its been really hard to get moving. My foot is hurting from the bad weather and its just so dark and cold out there. I am always so busy throughout the nights and weekends  filled with out of the house activities, its really hard to find the time to do exercise in the house. I was trying to gt up at 4:30am to start my day instead of 5:30am but that just made me more tired and irritable. I am trying to focus on the upcoming spring weather. I started today taking saffron elite, and I'm hoping that it helps bring me down off of this carbohydrate and sugar high. Any feedback about health in general , especially your thoughts about saffron would be helpful?