Intoxicated by food

So I made it through the holiday parties throughout the month of December with grace. Then one foggy night (12/20 Thurs)waiting in traffic for 2 hours, it all fell apart. The beautiful tray of cookies that a co worker made me where in the passenger seat. I am not a patient person especially when the day care closes at 6pm and I have to get home and make dinner, and walk the dogs, housework, and  still do more Christmas present shopping. So I looked over at the well wrapped cookie tray with its snug red velvet bow, and I began to tug at it. I said to myself, its stuck that means you shouldn't eat it. So I looked away and looked up. The traffic was at a stand still and it was 5:45pm. I tried again to open it without luck. I took a breath and then ripped it open with my teeth. I was so stressed and with no hope of healthy food in site I ate many cookies, and the delicious lindt chocolates that she perfectly placed on the tray. I felt a horrible guilt, and I felt horribly sick. When I finally got home with my tray , the kids wanted to know who made me such an ugly tray of cookies. This was only the beginning to a 5 day food fest. I normally skip pizza Friday, but not this week. The weekend was filled with parties, and I was really trying to make the most of it. However, my body was not excepting this now foreign food regimen. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were the biggest food events yet this year. On both days I went to 2 parties each. both places had endless food and desserts.I tried to stay away from the carbohydrates but my dad especially brought me raviolis from Matteo's, so I had to eat them.  By the middle of Christmas day I was hunched over in pain. Everyone clearly noticing my discomfort. I tried to get back on track and did okay on Wed and Thursday of this week, but I am starving. Eating that way has brought my cravings back at full force. I got on the scale this morning and gained 2 pounds from last week. The overeating and lack of exercise surprised me that I didn't gain more. I'm going to try and make some better choices until New Years eve and day. Then Jan 2nd I have to get motivated and stay on track again. Wish me luck I'm gonna need it after this junk food high! :-P

Im at a stand still

I havent lost any weight in over a month. Good thing is I havent gained any. Walking far in the dark has not been apealing to me. That means lack of exercise for me and the pups. Ive been doing 2 mile walks on demand and playing xbox biggest loser. I havent touched diet soda since July and I generally only cheat one day a week.There were so many parties the last few weeks and I didnt touch a thing that was bad, unless it was my cheat day. Does anyone have any suggestions at all to get this weight loss going again? Im at a stand still and its frustrating!

The Holiday Season {food, food, and more food}

I am at a weight lose of 17.6 pounds . I have basically stayed the same this month. This holiday season is very nerve racking. The week before thanksgiving I attended not one, but two feasts. I maintained control, and stuck with my basics, protein, veggies, and rice or potatoes. I did not have any desserts at those parties. That has taken me alot of self restraint, if you know me well, you know I look forward to dessert time.  Thanksgiving at my house was a "cheat day" . I went for a long walk before dinner and felt okay to eat whatever I wanted. I ate until I felt sick and then got right back into things the next day. That was hard for me because I always eat a turkey sandwich with everything the day after. I decided that one day was enough. I'm not sure how I'm going to face Christmas month. Its filled with baking cookies, many parties, and visiting people who cook all to well.  I think that will be much more challenging, hope I make it!

Last night I was really hungry and I made the kids mac and cheese bites. They smelled so good I wanted to put all of them in my mouth, so I did. Well not all, I put two in my mouth chewed them, and spit them out. It wasn't the same as swallowing them but at least I got the taste, and I really have gained willpower during these last few months, and didn't attempt to actually eat them. In place of my carb craving, I sliced up potatoes into chips and baked them in the oven. All was good in my world in that moment. Everyday is a challenge, so wish me luck going into the food zone this month.

Major Set Back!

It was a bad week. I didnt have my cheat day on Saturday because my husband said that he was making me a surprise halloween dinner. That through me off because Saturday food is all the leftovers from the week, and that is just boring. I started to think about straying then I decided that only one day to cheat was allowed, and it had to be Wednesday. Especially because I haven't been walking much, and not much other exercise either. Then Monday night the hurricane hits, and its a food party at my house. I tried my best not to eat the chicken cutlet and mashed potatoes, but I couldn't resist. I had my husband bake the chicken instead of frying it, but there was still breadcrumbs. so I ate way more than my portion size. I didn't stop there because you know a bad meal isn't complete without dessert. I had chocolate covered Carmel popcorn .I ate more than half the bag, and then decided I was feeling sick. I didn't stop there, later on in the night I ate the rest of the bag. Tuesday I get back on track, and didn't touch any of the brownies that I made for the kids and their friends. Good thing those kids eat fast, and they didn't leave a drop. At that point I was really hungry. I overdosed on bad food and was craving more. I felt so hungry, and nothing was helping. I made it through the night without totally loosing it. Wednesday was Halloween. Of course we had many goodies at work but I just ate my healthy food and was feeling pretty good until I got home. There was homemade mac and cheese, really crispy, and spider bread. The rat meatloaf was cheese stuffed and tasted awesome , yes I ate it, and plenty of it. Then for dessert pumpkins with butter, sugar and Cinnamon. It was beyond delicious. I didn't stop there because it was Halloween I had to have some candy too.  The next day I felt awful, and new that my Friday weigh in wouldn't be good news. At that point I started thinking well you were close to a 20 pound lose, 2 pounds isn't bad, but then I thought yes it is. That is the same rationalization that always gets me into trouble. I ate bad for 2 days and haven't steadily exercised, and that's why I gained two pounds. Normally I would be angry and say I only ate bad for two days, why me, but honestly I know the answer.

I go into wawa this morning , yes because I live there, and this friendly woman was offering me a free sample. She sang a very nice song about me drinking the carmel salted latte. It was really strange, and I refused. She said but you will really like It. I said yes lady I know I will like it, I will probably LOVE it, so stop taunting me! She smiled at me like, whatever crazy lady, and I happily walked out with my black pumpkin spice coffee.Now to get back on track! Please no one offer me free unhealthy drinks or food, and I should be okay, I think?

I got weighed

On Saturday I went to my aunt Theresa's for her birthday, and there was lots of food, and I ate most of it. It was my "cheat day". Funny thing is I got full much faster than usual and I actually felt sleepy. I asked my sister and brother in law to go for a 2 mile walk with me and they did without hesitation. I asked the rest of the family and they all laughed out loud and continued to eat the homemade butter finger that I made for them.

As always I had a busy week filled with soccer , baseball, and lessons for the kids as well as work, and everyday life. I felt overwhelmed and exhausted, and just wanted to eat.  I was fighting the hunger all week, and its a feeling that I haven't had in awhile, and I felt weak. I was questioning my lifestyle change, and really wanted to give up, so I resorted to obsessing over the scale.

 I got weighed Monday, and I lost .8 ounces, then Tuesday I was a 1pound heavier. Then Wednesday I was .2 ounces lighter, then Thursday I was 1.5 pounds heavier then last Friday. Seriously I almost gave up, but I gave myself one more day, the official weigh in day of Friday.  I got on the scale and lost .6 ounces. It sure was better than being heavier than last week. Note to self: stay off the scale! its discouraging!

I am now at 16.8 pounds total loss. I tried on gap jeans that I haven't worn since 2004, and they fit.I always refused to give them away, and now I'm glad I didn't. Those jeans fitting me outweighed the devastation of my traumatic week with the scale.

16.2 pds gone and Im back!

I got weighed today and only lost 4oz this week. Normally I would be annoyed but I was happy! I'm glad that I'm still losing something. I dropped down  2 sizes, and people are actually noticing the weight loss.In total from July 16th I have lost 16.2 pounds. Its like the size of a 6 month old baby. When I think of the comparison it makes me realize how much is really gone. A close friend is also losing weight, and a few weeks ago she had lost a total of 25pds. I told her it was like losing the size of a small toddler off her body, its nuts when you think of it like that.

 I haven't kept up with my blog, and I was pleasantly surprised  that people missed it. Thanks for caring, it really motivates me to keep going with this. Its been about a month since I wrote because my life is so insanely busy. A typical weekday for me is getting up at 5:30am taking care of the dogs, getting ready for work, getting the kids ready for school, getting them breakfast, getting me breakfast, then getting them to the bus by 7:15am. Then I go to work, leave work around 4:45pm get the kids, go to soccer Monday and Wednesday nights, get home from soccer by 7;15pm, make dinner, do homework with the boys, shower the boys, get everyone ready for bed. My job is still going because I have to do laundry, clean up, make lunches for the kids, and pack my food, sharpen pencils etc... the list goes on  and on. Tues &Thurs are about the same but that's when I prepare my food. The weekends are always booked, Soccer all morning on Saturdays, and Fall ball on Sundays. There's always a bunch of other craziness like food shopping,parties and so much more to do. All this insanity always made me want to eat before, and now when I'm stressed I just want to exercise. It really makes me feel better. However, the challenge has been fitting exercise in my everyday life. By the end of the night, honestly all I want to do is sleep lol`

Some people are still saying I'm "dieting" but I'm not. This is not dieting it has been an enormous lifestyle change. I love to eat this way, and I treat myself once a week to whatever I want to eat. Its not even  because I have to have it, its a break from planning like I do the other 6 days a week. I have sat through dinners, and parties touching french fries, and pizza, and cutting cake, and I wont eat it. People look at me like I have three heads, I might, but I can fit into a smaller size pants, so who cares. I have had alot of people ask me to tell them what I'm doing because they want to do it. I tell them and they say they cant. One thing I have learned is if you say you cant, you wont!!! Its up to you to do this for yourself. Its all about mindset, and no one else can make you do this but yourself!

Im Still Losing !!!

This has been such a rough week. Saturday was my uncle Pete's funeral, very sad :-( I decided that was my day that I would eat whatever I wanted to. I was really upset and needed to just indulge. I had over 2000 calories that day.I logged every single thing I ate onto myfitnesspal. I ate meatballs, cookies and cream ice cream,wine, beer, fresh cream donuts, and much more. On Sunday I walked almost 3 miles, and got right back on track. I stuck to my food plan everyday. However, exercising became a challenge. I ran out of time every night, It was so frustrating. Tuesday we had a big birthday party for a few people at work, and there was tons of fantastic food. I still enjoyed the party but ate my own food. I did add some delicious hummus to my salad, but other than that I didn't eat a thing. I got weighed on Thursday this week because I'm impatient, and discovered I lost 2.8 pounds this week. I was so excited!! I have lost a total of 14.8 pounds all together. This is such a huge accomplishment for me. I usually give up by now. I'm so glad I didn't. I have so many people helping me stay motivated , I refuse to give up this time.

A very sweet person that I know is very heavy. She is such a nice person and she has small children. I asked her where she has been because I haven't heard from her, and she said she was in the hospital, due to her being extremely over weight. She took a look at me and complimented me on my weight loss. She said to me that it was inspiring to her, and not much works for her, and shes glad I found something that worked for me. I gave her all the information about what worked for me, and shes going to give it a try. I told her I was still on a mission to lose more weight, and I would help her in any way I can. everyone has to find out which lifestyle works best for them.

I'm hoping to have a less stressful week, and exercise more. Wish me luck :-)